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lynnlee22Title: The Call
Features: OLTL:Joey/Kelly
“I understand,” he whispered, barely able to speak. He listened, his mind still trying to grasp the information. “Thank you…for calling”. Joey covered his face with his hands, desperately trying to calm the tears that threatened to come. He couldn’t fall apart now. He had to find her…to tell her. Most important, he realized, he had to be there for her.
Looking into the window, he saw them there. John sat close beside her, smiling, his hand occasionally drifting towards her hand. Kelly was at ease, she clearly hadn’t heard the news, and he would give anything not to have to be the one to tell her. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.
Looking over at the entrance, John sighed, “Joey, We’re not open yet. Did I forget to flip the sign?”
Joey didn’t even bother with a response. John wasn’t important. Everything else had become somewhat trivial since that phone call. “Kelly,” he whispered, “I need to talk to you.”
Kelly shook her hand. “Look, Joey. John and I..We were…”
“Please just listen,” Joey said, looking at her. She had no idea what he was about to tell her. No idea that her world was about to fall apart. He couldn’t believe it himself…he softly touched her shoulder, “Can we talk….in private?”
Kelly glanced back at John, “Can you give us a minute?” she asked him, suddenly serious. The look on Joey’s face wasn’t about petty jealousy or about raking her over the coals for sleeping with John. This was something else. This was something serious.
“Sure,” John replied, “I’ll be in the back room.”
“What is it?” Kelly said, looking back at Joey as soon as John departed. “What’s going on?”
Joey sat down, looking down at the bar. What words could he use to make this easier on her? How could he tell her something like this?
“Joey,” Kelly said, her voice slightly elevated and strained with worry. “What?”
Turning toward her, he reached for her hand. His own eyes were filling with tears, as he saw her face change from confusion to concern to fear, all in moments. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
Kelly could feel herself shaking, “What? What is it? What happened? Is it Kevin? Did something happen to him?”
Joey lowered his head. He couldn’t bear to answer her. Shaking his head, he looked up.
Her hand flew to her mouth, stifling the sobs, “Oh God,” she gasped. She fought for breath as she felt Joey’s hands on her shoulders.
“He was…He was on the BE jet and…it went down. There weren’t any survivors.” Joey felt her body shaking with sobs as he pulled her closer to him. He held her as she cried, trying desperately to comfort her, though he still had no found no means of comfort for himself.
Kelly pulled away suddenly, “Zane,” she said, as she wiped her face with her hands, “Does he know?” She stood quickly from the stool and bolted towards the door.
“Kelly…wait,” Joey said, grabbing her arm.
“No, I need to call him. I need to be there,” she said, slightly her voice becoming slightly manic. “He’s just lost his father. He needs his mother. He needs me.”
“Kelly,” Joey said softly, trying to find the right words, “Zane is on break from school.”
“Right…” she said, shaking her head frantically, “and he’s there and he’s alone and he needs me.” She struggled to break Joey’s grip on her arm.
“No…No he doesn’t,” Joey said softly.
He saw the moment the realization hit her and were it not for his arms, her body would have hit the floor.
“Nooooo…” she wailed, unable to process the idea. She clawed at Joey’s arms. “Please tell me it’s not true… Please…”
Joey sat down leaning back against the bar and allowed her to fall into him, “I’m so sorry, Kel.” He had no words. As he wrapped his arms around her, he closed his eyes, finally allowing his own tears to escape.
“I should have been there.” Her face was still buried in his chest. “I should have been with them.”
“Kelly, don’t say that,” he said, as he pulled her back from him, and touched her face. “Don’t ever say that.”
Looking into his eyes, she saw his compassion, but also his loss and grief. “What am I gonna do?” she asked. He mind felt numb. The tears were done, but in their place was an overwhelming sense of emptiness.
Joey shook his head. “I don’t know.” He lightly kissed the top of her head, “but I’m here…and we’ll figure it out together.”
Part 2
John stepped back into the bar and looked around. The sounds of Kelly’s sobs echoed through the room. He peered around the edge of the bar, surprised to see Joey there as well.
Stopping short, he stared at them. Something was clearly very wrong. “What’s going on?”
Joey helped Kelly to her feet and watched as she settled onto a bar stool. John quickly moved to grab a glass and filled it with water, sliding it in front of her.
Grabbing John’s arm, Joey pulled him away from her towards the other side of the room. “What’s going on?” John said in hushed tones. “What did you say to her?”
Shaking his head, Joey began, “It’s not that…Kevin and Zane…” He stopped, still almost unable to believe the words he spoke were true. “They were in a plane crash..the BE jet…it..it went down.”
John looked over at Kelly, who was barely keeping it together. She hadn’t touched the glass of water, and although she was no longer sobbing, the silence was more unnerving. “Are they?” he asked him, afraid of the answer.
Joey just nodded. He hadn’t been able to say the word yet, As if somehow not saying it made it less real.
John slowly crossed the room. Standing in front of Kelly, he reached out, and softly touched her hand. “Kelly, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
Kelly looked up—still silent.
John looked back at Joey who shook his head. He certainly couldn’t tell John what to do or say. He had no idea what to do himself.
Turning back to Kelly, he added, “I’m gonna go. If you need anything…day or night, you call me? Ok” John touched her face softly, and gently kissed her cheek.
Kelly managed a small nod in return.
As John left the room, Joey returned to her side. Kelly curled into him and felt the tears threatening to return.
“It’s ok,” he whispered, “Let it out.”
“I can’t….If I start, I’m afraid…I’m afraid I’ll never stop,” she admitted tearfully.
Joey looked into her eyes, “Let me take you home,” he said as he softly brushed the tears from her face, “Dorian and Blair will be there. You’ll have your family”.
Kelly shook her head. “Blair is out of town and Dorian and David are still on their honeymoon, but it will be quiet. It will give me time to think about things.”
“Absolutely not,” Joey said adamantly.
Kelly looked at him, her eyes questioning.
“The last thing you need is to be all alone in a big house with no one to talk with. You’re going to start thinking about Kevin and Zane and you’re going to need someone,” he said, reaching out to her. “Come home with me. Let me be here for you.”
“I can’t do that. Aubrey will never…”
“The hell with Aubrey,” Joey yelled, calming himself when he realized how harsh his words had been. “Aubrey will understand. You just lost your son.” Joey watched as the words sank in for Kelly. Her face crumbled.
“Hey,” Joey gathered her into his arms, “I’m sorry. Let me help you. I want to.”
Kelly felt his arms encircle her and she quickly nodded her head. “Ok,” she quietly replied.
Part 3
Joey picked up her jacket and returned to her. “Did you have anything else with you?” he asked as he put his arm around her.
“No. That’s it,” she said quietly.
The sound of the door caused both of them to turn.
“Is John here?” Natalie asked, casting a suspicious look at Kelly.
“He left,” Joey responded. “We were just about to.”
“Didn’t I tell you to keep your hands off my brother,” Natalie hissed, at Kelly, her eyes glistening with rage. “I thought you and John were keeping each other’s calendars pretty full.”
Kelly didn’t respond.
“What is it? Don’t tell me you’ve grown a conscience now? You feel bad about breaking up a family? About taking the only father Liam has ever known away from him?” She looked at Kelly, who still didn’t even bother to look up.
“No…you don’t care about Liam do you? You don’t even care about your own son. You dumped him off in boarding school…”
“Natalie,” Joey said before he saw Kelly’s hand raise in reaction.
Kelly’s hand met her face in an almost involuntary reaction, “How dare you?”
Kelly said, her voice trembling, her hands shaking, along with the rest of her.
Natalie stood stunned. “You bitch.” She raised her hand to her face, looking over at Joey. As she took a step towards her, Joey stepped in.
“Outside,” he said to Natalie, his voice strained, his eyes angry.
Looking at him, she realized she’d never seen him so serious. She followed him outside, where they stood in front of the window.
Kelly watched from inside as Joey delivered the news. He watched Natalie’s hand fly to her mouth as she looked back inside at Kelly.
As the two entered, Natalie approached her, “Kelly…I…”
“Save it,” Kelly said, attempting to cover the quiver in her voice. Turning to Joey she asked, “Can we please go?”
Joey nodded, “Yeah…Yeah, we can. Let’s go home.”
“Thank you, Nigel,” Joey called as he watched him head up the stairs. He returned to the living room, he saw Kelly curled up on the couch, “Can I get you anything?” he said, taking a seat beside her.
“Natalie was right,” she said softly. “I dumped him in a boarding school. I should have never left him there. I…”
“Kelly…Kelly stop,” he said, cradling her face in his hands, “You did not dump your son in a boarding school. Zane was attending school in the same city where his father was. You two talked all the time. Zane was never abandoned. He knew how much you loved him.”
“But I didn’t get to tell him, “ she said, her eyes full of tears, “I didn’t get to tell him that I loved him one last time. I didn’t even get to tell him goodbye.”
Joey put his arms around her again, allowing his chin to rest on her shoulder, “It’s ok. He knew. I promise you, he knew how much you loved him.”
“I have nothing,” she sobbed, her hand buried in his chest.
“That’s not true, Kelly. You have me.” Joey looked at her. She looked so lost. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I will get you through this. I promise.”
“I don’t think you can,” she said softly.
“Neither do I,” Aubrey said, walking in the room. “Somebody want to tell me what’s going on here?”
Part 4
Joey turned to look at Aubrey, trying to find a way to quickly calm the situation, but it was too late. Aubrey’s assessment of the situation had been swift, and nothing Joey could say or do was going to change what she had in mind.
“You know Joey, Kelly has her own life and…from what I’ve seen, she’s got her own man to cry on, so why don’t you let her be John McBain’s problem and…” She stopped and hesitated slightly as she caught the look on Joey’s face.
As he stood to meet her, she noticed the stained paths on his cheeks where tears had recently traveled. Her expression softened, “What is it?”
Kelly stood and walked to the window, not wanting to hear the situation explained to yet another unfortunate person. When she turned around again, Aubrey was gone, yet Joey remained.
“Do you need to go after her?” she asked, sadly looking at Joey.
“No.” He put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. “She’ll be fine. You need me here and this is where I need to be.”
Joey took a seat beside Kelly on the couch, sitting the tray he’d been carrying on the table in front of her. “Here,” he said, handing her a bowl of fresh fruit, “You need to eat something.”
“I don’t want anything,” she said softly, pushing the bowl away.
“Please, Kelly. You’ve got to eat something. You’ve got to keep your strength up.”
“For what?” she asked, looking at him with tears in her eyes. “Who am I being strong for? My son is dead. My mother is dead. Dorian is married with her own life. And you…you’re with Aubrey. I have nothing.” She exhaled, her breath shaky, her face covered in tears that she could no longer suppress.
“Hey,” he said softly, touching her face, “I’m right here. Just because I’m married, doesn’t mean that I don’t….” He stopped himself.
“What?” Kelly said looking at him. “What were you going to say?”
Joey took a deep breath and thought for a long moment. Now hardly seemed the time to express his feelings, yet Kelly needed him so much in this moment. He carefully touched her hair and pushed the bowl back towards her. “Can you eat something for me? I need you too you know.”
Kelly looked at him for a long moment and slowly placed a piece of fruit in her mouth. She relaxed slightly as she felt Joey put his arm around her and pull her closer to him. It was definitely the beginning of a very long night.
~
“Zane!” Kelly screamed, sitting up quickly and looking around the room.
Joey drew her closer to him, brushing her hair behind her ears softly, “Hey, Kel…it’s ok. It’s a dream. It’s ok.”
Kelly sighed, leaning back on Joey. “I wish it were a dream. I wish this whole thing was just a terrible nightmare, but it’s not. It’s real.”
Joey held her tighter, gently placing his lips on her temple. “I know. I do too. You said Zane’s name. You were dreaming about him?”
Kelly nodded, “He was in trouble. He was in the water, calling my name, screaming for help…but I couldn’t….I couldn’t get to him. He needed me and I couldn’t…” The tears overtook her as she broke into sobs.
“Don’t do this to yourself,” Joey said as he held her. “This is not your fault. There isn’t anything you could have done to prevent this from happening.”
“Maybe not,” she said, her voice muffled, “but I could have been there with them. I could have gone with him.”
“And you would have died too?” Joey pulled her off of him so that he could look into her eyes. “Do you think that would have made it better? Do you think that would have been easier?”
“I just don’t want to hurt like this. If I had died with him, it would just be done. It would be over. I’ve got no one here that’s counting on me.” Kelly looked up at Joey.
“Kelly,” Joey reached up and cradled her face in his hands, “If you had died with him, I couldn’t have handled it. You’re the only reason I’m still standing here.”
“You shouldn’t have to be strong for me,” she said through the tears. “I’m just a burden now. I’m pulling everyone down.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Joey said softly, “I need you here. Without you, there isn’t anyone that really understands me. You know me better than any of these people in this town. You and I we have this….connection. We always have.”
Kelly leaned back against the couch. “That’s over now,” she said sadly. “Everything’s over now.”
“What if I told you it wasn’t?” Joey said, his voice questioning slightly. “What if I told you my feelings never changed? Would that change the way you felt about living? Would you feel like there was something left for you here?”
Staring at him, she could see he was serious. “What are you saying, Joey?”
Part 5
“I care about you Kelly. You know that.” There was so much more he could say—so much more he wanted to say, but now wasn’t the time. Kelly wasn’t in the frame of mind to hear it and this certainly wasn’t the time for him to be professing his love—here in his home—the home he shared with his wife.
Kelly sighed, “I know you do. I care about you too. It’s just that…I feel so empty. I feel like I’ve lost everything.” She struggled to find the words to describe her pain but there weren’t any. Even the tears were gone now. She felt completely and totally drained.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Joey said softly. “You don’t have to talk, but you can if you want to. You can yell. You can scream. You can cry. You can do whatever you need to do, but I’ll be right here. I just want to help you. I want to do whatever I can to help you through this.”
Kelly looked over at him. “I just keep thinking about the last conversation I had with Kevin. I was annoyed with him because he was taking Zane on a trip for his break. I had thought about going up to London for a few days to see him over break, but Kevin already had this guy thing planned. I snapped at him, Joey. It was the last conversation I had with him, and I left things like that.”
Reaching up to touch her face, he brought her head towards his chest. “I know. We didn’t exactly have the best conversation the last time we talked either. We talked about Dad and about all his legal issues. Kevin was upset that I hadn’t kept him the loop and we argued. If I’d known it was going to be the last time I’d ever talk to him…” Joey’s voice broke as the thought about the sound of the phone as he clicked it closed. “I didn’t even tell him goodbye.”
“How do we live with that?” she asked him, the pain now so heavy on her heart she felt as if she were being crushed. “How do you live with that kind of regret?”
Joey shook his head, “I don’t know,” he whispered honestly. “I wish to God I knew.”
Part 6
John walked up behind her, searching his mind for words. Conversation wasn’t his strongest area, and in situations like these, nothing seemed appropriate. “Kelly,” he whispered, tensing when she turned around.
She forced a small smile as she looked at him, grateful that he came. “Thank you,” she softly replied. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course. I wish there was something…I mean, if there’s anything. You know you can call me if I can do anything.” He looked away. The words felt small and stupid and completely insignificant. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled the slip of paper out, and held it out towards her. “There’s no good way to do this.”
“What’s this?” She was too tired to do anything at this point. There were no more tears. Her eyes were sore and her heart felt as if it couldn’t break anymore.
“The search and rescue team…they found it…stuffed into backs of the seat. It’s a note…from Kevin.” John stood there, waiting for her response.
She slowly lowered herself into the chair. “He wrote a note to me?” Her voice trembled as she spoke. Why on earth would he write a note to her? “What does it say?” she asked, looking up at John.
“It’s yours to read…not mine. I don’t know what it says. I just know it was written to you.”
She extended her hand, holding the note out towards him. “Please,” she said softly. “I can’t, John…I just can’t. Can you?”
“Kelly,” he began… “I think maybe you should…”
“You asked if there was anything you could do,” she spoke, her words deliberate now, almost angry. “You can do this.”
Sitting down in the seat beside her, he slowly unfolded the paper and began to read.
Kelly,
I hope you don’t read this, but if you do, I’m not here to tell you this, so I need to say it now. Zane is with me. He’s asleep. He doesn’t know anything….I’ll make sure he’s not afraid. Don’t worry. After everything we’ve been through together, we raised a real good kid. You and Zane gave me the best years of my life. Don’t ever forget that. I hope I gave you some good times too. For whatever reason, our time here is over…I wish to God it wasn’t, but it is. Yours isn’t. Don’t stop your life for this. You keep living. You find joy again. You’re too good not to. You remember what you told me when you came back to London. You remember who you love…who you always loved….and who will always love you. Keep loving for me and for Zane.
Love always,
Kevin
John folded the letter, clearing his throat and handing the letter back to Kelly.
“John,” Kelly started, aware that the words in the letter meant something to him as well.
“No,” John replied, holding his hand up to her. “He’s right. You should be with the man you love….and with the man who loves you.” He looked over towards the front of the church, where Joey stood talking with his mother. He hadn’t missed his stares over the past few minutes.
“So, should you,” Kelly whispered softly.
John nodded, leaning forward and kissing her softly on the cheek. “If you need anything…”
“I will,” she smiled, placing the letter in her purse as John walked away.
She stood as she heard footsteps behind her. “You ready to go?” Joey asked, allowing his hand to brush the small of her back. “Or,” he looked over at John, who stood by the wall. “Did you want to go back with him?”
“No.” She reached up touching his face and leaning into his arms as he wrapped them around her waist. “I think for the first time in a long time, I’m where I need to be.”
The End
Features: OLTL:Joey/Kelly
“I understand,” he whispered, barely able to speak. He listened, his mind still trying to grasp the information. “Thank you…for calling”. Joey covered his face with his hands, desperately trying to calm the tears that threatened to come. He couldn’t fall apart now. He had to find her…to tell her. Most important, he realized, he had to be there for her.
Looking into the window, he saw them there. John sat close beside her, smiling, his hand occasionally drifting towards her hand. Kelly was at ease, she clearly hadn’t heard the news, and he would give anything not to have to be the one to tell her. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.
Looking over at the entrance, John sighed, “Joey, We’re not open yet. Did I forget to flip the sign?”
Joey didn’t even bother with a response. John wasn’t important. Everything else had become somewhat trivial since that phone call. “Kelly,” he whispered, “I need to talk to you.”
Kelly shook her hand. “Look, Joey. John and I..We were…”
“Please just listen,” Joey said, looking at her. She had no idea what he was about to tell her. No idea that her world was about to fall apart. He couldn’t believe it himself…he softly touched her shoulder, “Can we talk….in private?”
Kelly glanced back at John, “Can you give us a minute?” she asked him, suddenly serious. The look on Joey’s face wasn’t about petty jealousy or about raking her over the coals for sleeping with John. This was something else. This was something serious.
“Sure,” John replied, “I’ll be in the back room.”
“What is it?” Kelly said, looking back at Joey as soon as John departed. “What’s going on?”
Joey sat down, looking down at the bar. What words could he use to make this easier on her? How could he tell her something like this?
“Joey,” Kelly said, her voice slightly elevated and strained with worry. “What?”
Turning toward her, he reached for her hand. His own eyes were filling with tears, as he saw her face change from confusion to concern to fear, all in moments. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
Kelly could feel herself shaking, “What? What is it? What happened? Is it Kevin? Did something happen to him?”
Joey lowered his head. He couldn’t bear to answer her. Shaking his head, he looked up.
Her hand flew to her mouth, stifling the sobs, “Oh God,” she gasped. She fought for breath as she felt Joey’s hands on her shoulders.
“He was…He was on the BE jet and…it went down. There weren’t any survivors.” Joey felt her body shaking with sobs as he pulled her closer to him. He held her as she cried, trying desperately to comfort her, though he still had no found no means of comfort for himself.
Kelly pulled away suddenly, “Zane,” she said, as she wiped her face with her hands, “Does he know?” She stood quickly from the stool and bolted towards the door.
“Kelly…wait,” Joey said, grabbing her arm.
“No, I need to call him. I need to be there,” she said, slightly her voice becoming slightly manic. “He’s just lost his father. He needs his mother. He needs me.”
“Kelly,” Joey said softly, trying to find the right words, “Zane is on break from school.”
“Right…” she said, shaking her head frantically, “and he’s there and he’s alone and he needs me.” She struggled to break Joey’s grip on her arm.
“No…No he doesn’t,” Joey said softly.
He saw the moment the realization hit her and were it not for his arms, her body would have hit the floor.
“Nooooo…” she wailed, unable to process the idea. She clawed at Joey’s arms. “Please tell me it’s not true… Please…”
Joey sat down leaning back against the bar and allowed her to fall into him, “I’m so sorry, Kel.” He had no words. As he wrapped his arms around her, he closed his eyes, finally allowing his own tears to escape.
“I should have been there.” Her face was still buried in his chest. “I should have been with them.”
“Kelly, don’t say that,” he said, as he pulled her back from him, and touched her face. “Don’t ever say that.”
Looking into his eyes, she saw his compassion, but also his loss and grief. “What am I gonna do?” she asked. He mind felt numb. The tears were done, but in their place was an overwhelming sense of emptiness.
Joey shook his head. “I don’t know.” He lightly kissed the top of her head, “but I’m here…and we’ll figure it out together.”
Part 2
John stepped back into the bar and looked around. The sounds of Kelly’s sobs echoed through the room. He peered around the edge of the bar, surprised to see Joey there as well.
Stopping short, he stared at them. Something was clearly very wrong. “What’s going on?”
Joey helped Kelly to her feet and watched as she settled onto a bar stool. John quickly moved to grab a glass and filled it with water, sliding it in front of her.
Grabbing John’s arm, Joey pulled him away from her towards the other side of the room. “What’s going on?” John said in hushed tones. “What did you say to her?”
Shaking his head, Joey began, “It’s not that…Kevin and Zane…” He stopped, still almost unable to believe the words he spoke were true. “They were in a plane crash..the BE jet…it..it went down.”
John looked over at Kelly, who was barely keeping it together. She hadn’t touched the glass of water, and although she was no longer sobbing, the silence was more unnerving. “Are they?” he asked him, afraid of the answer.
Joey just nodded. He hadn’t been able to say the word yet, As if somehow not saying it made it less real.
John slowly crossed the room. Standing in front of Kelly, he reached out, and softly touched her hand. “Kelly, I’m so sorry,” he whispered.
Kelly looked up—still silent.
John looked back at Joey who shook his head. He certainly couldn’t tell John what to do or say. He had no idea what to do himself.
Turning back to Kelly, he added, “I’m gonna go. If you need anything…day or night, you call me? Ok” John touched her face softly, and gently kissed her cheek.
Kelly managed a small nod in return.
As John left the room, Joey returned to her side. Kelly curled into him and felt the tears threatening to return.
“It’s ok,” he whispered, “Let it out.”
“I can’t….If I start, I’m afraid…I’m afraid I’ll never stop,” she admitted tearfully.
Joey looked into her eyes, “Let me take you home,” he said as he softly brushed the tears from her face, “Dorian and Blair will be there. You’ll have your family”.
Kelly shook her head. “Blair is out of town and Dorian and David are still on their honeymoon, but it will be quiet. It will give me time to think about things.”
“Absolutely not,” Joey said adamantly.
Kelly looked at him, her eyes questioning.
“The last thing you need is to be all alone in a big house with no one to talk with. You’re going to start thinking about Kevin and Zane and you’re going to need someone,” he said, reaching out to her. “Come home with me. Let me be here for you.”
“I can’t do that. Aubrey will never…”
“The hell with Aubrey,” Joey yelled, calming himself when he realized how harsh his words had been. “Aubrey will understand. You just lost your son.” Joey watched as the words sank in for Kelly. Her face crumbled.
“Hey,” Joey gathered her into his arms, “I’m sorry. Let me help you. I want to.”
Kelly felt his arms encircle her and she quickly nodded her head. “Ok,” she quietly replied.
Part 3
Joey picked up her jacket and returned to her. “Did you have anything else with you?” he asked as he put his arm around her.
“No. That’s it,” she said quietly.
The sound of the door caused both of them to turn.
“Is John here?” Natalie asked, casting a suspicious look at Kelly.
“He left,” Joey responded. “We were just about to.”
“Didn’t I tell you to keep your hands off my brother,” Natalie hissed, at Kelly, her eyes glistening with rage. “I thought you and John were keeping each other’s calendars pretty full.”
Kelly didn’t respond.
“What is it? Don’t tell me you’ve grown a conscience now? You feel bad about breaking up a family? About taking the only father Liam has ever known away from him?” She looked at Kelly, who still didn’t even bother to look up.
“No…you don’t care about Liam do you? You don’t even care about your own son. You dumped him off in boarding school…”
“Natalie,” Joey said before he saw Kelly’s hand raise in reaction.
Kelly’s hand met her face in an almost involuntary reaction, “How dare you?”
Kelly said, her voice trembling, her hands shaking, along with the rest of her.
Natalie stood stunned. “You bitch.” She raised her hand to her face, looking over at Joey. As she took a step towards her, Joey stepped in.
“Outside,” he said to Natalie, his voice strained, his eyes angry.
Looking at him, she realized she’d never seen him so serious. She followed him outside, where they stood in front of the window.
Kelly watched from inside as Joey delivered the news. He watched Natalie’s hand fly to her mouth as she looked back inside at Kelly.
As the two entered, Natalie approached her, “Kelly…I…”
“Save it,” Kelly said, attempting to cover the quiver in her voice. Turning to Joey she asked, “Can we please go?”
Joey nodded, “Yeah…Yeah, we can. Let’s go home.”
“Thank you, Nigel,” Joey called as he watched him head up the stairs. He returned to the living room, he saw Kelly curled up on the couch, “Can I get you anything?” he said, taking a seat beside her.
“Natalie was right,” she said softly. “I dumped him in a boarding school. I should have never left him there. I…”
“Kelly…Kelly stop,” he said, cradling her face in his hands, “You did not dump your son in a boarding school. Zane was attending school in the same city where his father was. You two talked all the time. Zane was never abandoned. He knew how much you loved him.”
“But I didn’t get to tell him, “ she said, her eyes full of tears, “I didn’t get to tell him that I loved him one last time. I didn’t even get to tell him goodbye.”
Joey put his arms around her again, allowing his chin to rest on her shoulder, “It’s ok. He knew. I promise you, he knew how much you loved him.”
“I have nothing,” she sobbed, her hand buried in his chest.
“That’s not true, Kelly. You have me.” Joey looked at her. She looked so lost. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. I will get you through this. I promise.”
“I don’t think you can,” she said softly.
“Neither do I,” Aubrey said, walking in the room. “Somebody want to tell me what’s going on here?”
Part 4
Joey turned to look at Aubrey, trying to find a way to quickly calm the situation, but it was too late. Aubrey’s assessment of the situation had been swift, and nothing Joey could say or do was going to change what she had in mind.
“You know Joey, Kelly has her own life and…from what I’ve seen, she’s got her own man to cry on, so why don’t you let her be John McBain’s problem and…” She stopped and hesitated slightly as she caught the look on Joey’s face.
As he stood to meet her, she noticed the stained paths on his cheeks where tears had recently traveled. Her expression softened, “What is it?”
Kelly stood and walked to the window, not wanting to hear the situation explained to yet another unfortunate person. When she turned around again, Aubrey was gone, yet Joey remained.
“Do you need to go after her?” she asked, sadly looking at Joey.
“No.” He put his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. “She’ll be fine. You need me here and this is where I need to be.”
Joey took a seat beside Kelly on the couch, sitting the tray he’d been carrying on the table in front of her. “Here,” he said, handing her a bowl of fresh fruit, “You need to eat something.”
“I don’t want anything,” she said softly, pushing the bowl away.
“Please, Kelly. You’ve got to eat something. You’ve got to keep your strength up.”
“For what?” she asked, looking at him with tears in her eyes. “Who am I being strong for? My son is dead. My mother is dead. Dorian is married with her own life. And you…you’re with Aubrey. I have nothing.” She exhaled, her breath shaky, her face covered in tears that she could no longer suppress.
“Hey,” he said softly, touching her face, “I’m right here. Just because I’m married, doesn’t mean that I don’t….” He stopped himself.
“What?” Kelly said looking at him. “What were you going to say?”
Joey took a deep breath and thought for a long moment. Now hardly seemed the time to express his feelings, yet Kelly needed him so much in this moment. He carefully touched her hair and pushed the bowl back towards her. “Can you eat something for me? I need you too you know.”
Kelly looked at him for a long moment and slowly placed a piece of fruit in her mouth. She relaxed slightly as she felt Joey put his arm around her and pull her closer to him. It was definitely the beginning of a very long night.
~
“Zane!” Kelly screamed, sitting up quickly and looking around the room.
Joey drew her closer to him, brushing her hair behind her ears softly, “Hey, Kel…it’s ok. It’s a dream. It’s ok.”
Kelly sighed, leaning back on Joey. “I wish it were a dream. I wish this whole thing was just a terrible nightmare, but it’s not. It’s real.”
Joey held her tighter, gently placing his lips on her temple. “I know. I do too. You said Zane’s name. You were dreaming about him?”
Kelly nodded, “He was in trouble. He was in the water, calling my name, screaming for help…but I couldn’t….I couldn’t get to him. He needed me and I couldn’t…” The tears overtook her as she broke into sobs.
“Don’t do this to yourself,” Joey said as he held her. “This is not your fault. There isn’t anything you could have done to prevent this from happening.”
“Maybe not,” she said, her voice muffled, “but I could have been there with them. I could have gone with him.”
“And you would have died too?” Joey pulled her off of him so that he could look into her eyes. “Do you think that would have made it better? Do you think that would have been easier?”
“I just don’t want to hurt like this. If I had died with him, it would just be done. It would be over. I’ve got no one here that’s counting on me.” Kelly looked up at Joey.
“Kelly,” Joey reached up and cradled her face in his hands, “If you had died with him, I couldn’t have handled it. You’re the only reason I’m still standing here.”
“You shouldn’t have to be strong for me,” she said through the tears. “I’m just a burden now. I’m pulling everyone down.”
“That’s not what I mean,” Joey said softly, “I need you here. Without you, there isn’t anyone that really understands me. You know me better than any of these people in this town. You and I we have this….connection. We always have.”
Kelly leaned back against the couch. “That’s over now,” she said sadly. “Everything’s over now.”
“What if I told you it wasn’t?” Joey said, his voice questioning slightly. “What if I told you my feelings never changed? Would that change the way you felt about living? Would you feel like there was something left for you here?”
Staring at him, she could see he was serious. “What are you saying, Joey?”
Part 5
“I care about you Kelly. You know that.” There was so much more he could say—so much more he wanted to say, but now wasn’t the time. Kelly wasn’t in the frame of mind to hear it and this certainly wasn’t the time for him to be professing his love—here in his home—the home he shared with his wife.
Kelly sighed, “I know you do. I care about you too. It’s just that…I feel so empty. I feel like I’ve lost everything.” She struggled to find the words to describe her pain but there weren’t any. Even the tears were gone now. She felt completely and totally drained.
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Joey said softly. “You don’t have to talk, but you can if you want to. You can yell. You can scream. You can cry. You can do whatever you need to do, but I’ll be right here. I just want to help you. I want to do whatever I can to help you through this.”
Kelly looked over at him. “I just keep thinking about the last conversation I had with Kevin. I was annoyed with him because he was taking Zane on a trip for his break. I had thought about going up to London for a few days to see him over break, but Kevin already had this guy thing planned. I snapped at him, Joey. It was the last conversation I had with him, and I left things like that.”
Reaching up to touch her face, he brought her head towards his chest. “I know. We didn’t exactly have the best conversation the last time we talked either. We talked about Dad and about all his legal issues. Kevin was upset that I hadn’t kept him the loop and we argued. If I’d known it was going to be the last time I’d ever talk to him…” Joey’s voice broke as the thought about the sound of the phone as he clicked it closed. “I didn’t even tell him goodbye.”
“How do we live with that?” she asked him, the pain now so heavy on her heart she felt as if she were being crushed. “How do you live with that kind of regret?”
Joey shook his head, “I don’t know,” he whispered honestly. “I wish to God I knew.”
Part 6
John walked up behind her, searching his mind for words. Conversation wasn’t his strongest area, and in situations like these, nothing seemed appropriate. “Kelly,” he whispered, tensing when she turned around.
She forced a small smile as she looked at him, grateful that he came. “Thank you,” she softly replied. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course. I wish there was something…I mean, if there’s anything. You know you can call me if I can do anything.” He looked away. The words felt small and stupid and completely insignificant. Reaching into his jacket, he pulled the slip of paper out, and held it out towards her. “There’s no good way to do this.”
“What’s this?” She was too tired to do anything at this point. There were no more tears. Her eyes were sore and her heart felt as if it couldn’t break anymore.
“The search and rescue team…they found it…stuffed into backs of the seat. It’s a note…from Kevin.” John stood there, waiting for her response.
She slowly lowered herself into the chair. “He wrote a note to me?” Her voice trembled as she spoke. Why on earth would he write a note to her? “What does it say?” she asked, looking up at John.
“It’s yours to read…not mine. I don’t know what it says. I just know it was written to you.”
She extended her hand, holding the note out towards him. “Please,” she said softly. “I can’t, John…I just can’t. Can you?”
“Kelly,” he began… “I think maybe you should…”
“You asked if there was anything you could do,” she spoke, her words deliberate now, almost angry. “You can do this.”
Sitting down in the seat beside her, he slowly unfolded the paper and began to read.
Kelly,
I hope you don’t read this, but if you do, I’m not here to tell you this, so I need to say it now. Zane is with me. He’s asleep. He doesn’t know anything….I’ll make sure he’s not afraid. Don’t worry. After everything we’ve been through together, we raised a real good kid. You and Zane gave me the best years of my life. Don’t ever forget that. I hope I gave you some good times too. For whatever reason, our time here is over…I wish to God it wasn’t, but it is. Yours isn’t. Don’t stop your life for this. You keep living. You find joy again. You’re too good not to. You remember what you told me when you came back to London. You remember who you love…who you always loved….and who will always love you. Keep loving for me and for Zane.
Love always,
Kevin
John folded the letter, clearing his throat and handing the letter back to Kelly.
“John,” Kelly started, aware that the words in the letter meant something to him as well.
“No,” John replied, holding his hand up to her. “He’s right. You should be with the man you love….and with the man who loves you.” He looked over towards the front of the church, where Joey stood talking with his mother. He hadn’t missed his stares over the past few minutes.
“So, should you,” Kelly whispered softly.
John nodded, leaning forward and kissing her softly on the cheek. “If you need anything…”
“I will,” she smiled, placing the letter in her purse as John walked away.
She stood as she heard footsteps behind her. “You ready to go?” Joey asked, allowing his hand to brush the small of her back. “Or,” he looked over at John, who stood by the wall. “Did you want to go back with him?”
“No.” She reached up touching his face and leaning into his arms as he wrapped them around her waist. “I think for the first time in a long time, I’m where I need to be.”
The End