Fresh Start

[lynnlee22]

Another WIP I've really enjoyed working on...

Fresh Start
PG-13
Kelly Cramer (OLTL)/ Ronan Malloy (YR)

Chapter 1

Starting over was never easy, but a new town—a new start was exactly what she needed. After things ended with Joey for the three hundredth time, she knew she needed to get away, from him…from Llanview, from all of it. She didn’t choose Genoa City—it chose her. Sheer exhaustion had caused her to pull over in the small coffee shop parking lot and, although she’d intended to come in, grab a cup to go, and get back on the road; something about the place caught her eye. It might have been the jukebox in the corner. It might have been the tables scattered about the room. It might have even been the bar with stools littered with college kids, but something about this place reminded her of Rodis. It reminded her of when she was young and happy and carefree…when things weren’t so complicated.

As her eyes scanned the patrons, she stalled on the image of a young man seated alone at a table in the corner. It was his eyes mainly—they seemed to silently scream beneath the heavy lids. She walked over to the counter and took a seat. Pulling her bag up beside her, she bumped the elbow of a fellow diner.

“Sorry,” Kelly softly responded, handing her a small stack of napkins to wipe up the coffee that had sloshed from the cup.

“It’s ok,” Chloe remarked, irritated, but trying to remain civil. At least it hadn’t been the dress. It could have been the dress.

“Nice dress, Donna Karan?” Kelly smiled as she took a sip from her cup. It was good to know she hadn’t landed in the middle of Podunk USA.

Chloe’s eyes snapped to attention.

“Yes,” she responded, her eyes slightly betraying her surprise.

Kelly glanced down at her appearance for a moment and sighed.

“It’s been a long drive,” she explained. “I actually do have some fashion sense. I’ve just been traveling…you know..trying to find some place to land.”

She smiled back at the stranger before extended her hand, “Kelly Cramer.”

“Chloe Mitchell,” Chloe responded, shaking hands with a smile. “You said you’re looking for somewhere to land…running to something or away from something?”

“Just looking for a new start…new people..new faces.” Her mind drifted back to the mysterious man in the corner. She glanced back over her shoulder to make sure he was still there. He was.

“Speaking of new faces,” Kelly whispered, leaning in a little closer. “Do you know anything about the guy sitting over in the corner table?”

Chloe turned slightly seeing Ronan sitting there. “Him?” She shook her head. “Trust me…he’s trouble.” She glanced at her watch.

“Look, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go. It was nice meeting you. Maybe if you stick around we can grab lunch or something sometime.” Chloe grabbed her cup and purse and moved towards the door.

“I’d like that, “Kelly smiled as she watched Chloe head out the door. Slowly she slid off the bar stool. “Trouble huh,” she muttered under her breath. “Maybe a little trouble is exactly what I need.”

~

“Excuse me,” Kelly stood at the edge of the table, waiting for the mystery man to acknowledge her presence.

Ronan slowly looked up allowing his eyes to roam over her. “Yeah,” he said his voice gruff and seemingly unfriendly.

“Uh, I just thought maybe…since you were alone…and I was alone…that I’d see if you wanted some company.” She smiled at him, in an attempt to break the tense mood.

He let out a quick puff of air. “You think I want company?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Well, I don’t know,” she smiled. “That’s what I came over here to find out.”
He didn’t really want to talk, but it was something about her smile that made her impossible to turn down.

“Suit yourself,” he said, bumping the chair from under the table with his leg.
Kelly nodded, taking a seat across the table from him. She’d certainly had friendlier invitations, but there was something about him….something almost haunted.

“I’m Kelly,” she said smiling at him. Her green eyes sparkled in the light.
Sighing, he muttered, “Ronan”. The smile he received in return for his answer almost made it worthwhile and the feel of her hand in his as she awkwardly reached in for a handshake sent a chill down his spine that he hadn’t felt in ages.

“So, Ronan…What’s a guy like you doing sitting alone in a place like this?” Kelly had noticed him immediately and she found it hard to believe that every other woman in this town hadn’t as well. There had to be a reason.

“Maybe I like my solitude.” He didn’t really…he just didn’t really know how to be any other way. When he was with people, they got hurt and he was tired of the people he loved being hurt. The only way to protect them was to stay away from them…so that’s what he was going to do.

Kelly nodded. She recognized it all. The downcast eyes, the somber tone, the angry responses….sure signs of a life that was falling apart.

“Hey,” she said softly, “I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to feel like everything in your world is falling to pieces.”

“You don’t have a clue,” Ronan snapped, standing up abruptly from the table. “You hear me?! You don’t have any idea. You don’t know me! You don’t know anything about me! You think you’re just gonna walk over here and start to analyze me or something. What is this? Did my mother send you here? Is that it?”

Kelly sat stunned for a moment. She slowly grabbed her purse and stood.
“Look. I’m sorry I disturbed you. It was a mistake. I’m gonna go.” She turned without another word and walked out the door.

Ronan stood for a moment trying to regain his composure. How was it possible that he felt so lost without her when she’d been in his life for less than five minutes, yet it was as if she’d taken all the air in the room with her when she left? Without thinking he headed out the door after her.

“Kelly….wait,” he called out…happy to see she hadn’t left the parking lot yet.
Kelly turned around. “Look, I get it,” she said, holding up her hands to placate him. “I don’t need a repeat of the verbal lashing you gave me in there. You don’t need my help. You don’t want my sympathy. I don’t know you. I don’t know anything about you. Does that about cover it?”

Ronan shook his head, looking down at the ground. “I’m sorry about that. I just kind of lost it. I don’t know why. It’ s just that my life is….well, lately my life has been…my life…it just…it…it sucks.” He smiled as he finally realized that was the most appropriate description he’d come up with lately.

Kelly returned the smile. “Mine too.”

“At least we’re in good company,” Ronan replied, leaning against her car, suddenly drawn to this individual in front of him.

“Listen,” Kelly began, a little hesitantly at first, “You may think this is crazy…and if you do, just tell me…it’s ok….but I think maybe we could help each other out…you know just talk and laugh a little.” She stared into Ronan’s eyes, checking for any sort of reaction. At least he wasn’t screaming no yet, she reasoned within her mind.

“Maybe we could go out to dinner or something….” She felt her stomach flip over a little as she said the words. Was she nervous? What was she 15? Nervous about asking a boy on a date?

Ronan tried to keep his lips from curving. “Like a date?” he said softly, admittedly torturing her just a bit.

“It doesn’t have to be like a date,” she said quickly…”It can just be like friends…you know friends going out to talk and hang out.”

He reached out to her then, touching her shoulder softly. “Actually,” he said, his voice taking on a new tone, this one much more soft and gentle, “I think a date would be nice.”

Breathe, she reminded herself, forcing a breath into her lungs. The feel of his warm hand on her skin was almost unbearable and she couldn’t understand how someone that hadn’t even been in her life an hour ago could suddenly be so important.

“Ok,” she managed. “It’s a date.”

Ronan smiled at her, removing his hand, and reaching into his pocket. “Here’s my card. Just call me and let me know when and where and what time I need to pick you up.”

“Oh, you don’t have to pick me up,” she said quickly. “I can meet you somewhere.”

“What kind of a guy do you think I am?” he said with a sly smile as he walked away.

Kelly leaned back against the car as she watched him go. She had no idea what kind of guy he was, but she had a funny feeling she was going to enjoy finding out.

Chapter 2


“Thank you,” she said with a nod and a smile as she tipped the bellhop and watched him head into the elevator with her bags.

Kelly smiled as she took a seat at the bar of the Genoa City Athletic Club. Surveying her surroundings, she couldn’t help but notice the striking similarities it shared with the Palace Hotel back home. Of course, the décor was different, but the feel of it, the clientele…it all seemed strangely familiar.

“Can I get you something?” the bartender asked, standing in front of her with a friendly smile.

“Oh,” Kelly looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I’m just waiting for my room.” She reached into her purse…grabbing some cash and grasping at the business card that fell to the bar in front of her.

“Just a club soda, please,” she smiled as she passed some cash to the bartender.

As he turned away to prepare her drink, she turned the card over in her hand. Was it too early to call him? Did it seem too desperate? Would he know that she had been unable to get him off her mind since the moment he’d walked away?

She pulled out her cell phone and sat it in front of her. Slowly she began to dial the numbers. After all, what did she have to lose?

~

Ronan Malloy closed the door behind him immediately moving towards the refrigerator to find a cold beer. Sinking into the chair by the window, he took a drink, leaning his head back against the soft cushion. What was he thinking…agreeing to a date with a perfect stranger? This was the last thing he needed. He knew better—no attachments—no relationships. That was his new rule—his new motto. He couldn’t afford to get involved with anyone….not with his new situation…not with everything that had happened.

The operation was supposed to be the answer. A partial liver transplant was supposed to solve all of his problems—it was supposed to fix it—it was supposed to fix everything, but it didn’t. It didn’t fix anything at all. He walked over to the counter, opening up the cabinets and starting at the lines of pills that started at him. Angrily he opened the bottles, pouring one bill after the other into his hand. He was sick of being dependent…dependent on pills to live…dependent on doctors to tell him what to do and when he could do it. He smiled as he took another long chug of beer. The last doctor he’d been to had reamed him about his drinking. ‘You’re killing yourself,’ he’d said….but what they didn’t know was that he already felt dead inside….the beer was just moving things along.

His mind flashed back to earlier that day. He wasn’t even sure how or why it happened….it just did. It was something about her…something about the way she looked at him…as if she understood. But she couldn’t, he realized, slamming the bottle down on the counter. There’s no way anyone could understand what it felt like to have no one…

The familiar sound of his cell phone ringing forced his analysis of the day’s events to come to an early end. Reaching into his pocket, he glanced at the screen. It was a number he didn’t recognize…but in his line of work, he didn’t have the luxury of screening his calls.

“Yeah,” he gruffly answered, holding the phone to his ear. He wasn’t in the mood to talk tonight.

~

Kelly felt the tension return to her shoulders. Maybe she shouldn’t have called this soon after all.

“Ronan,” she said hesitantly. She glanced back at the card, mentally going back through the numbers she’d dialed. She was positive they were correct.

“It’s Kelly,” she chirped, trying desperately to lighten the tone of what was quickly becoming an uncomfortable conversation.

~

He closed his eyes. Kelly. This was the last thing he wanted to do. He didn’t need this tonight. He wanted to sit there and drink and feel sorry for himself and…

“Yeah, Kelly,” he said, forcing himself to sound civil. “I just wasn’t expecting to hear from you…”

~

She cringed. It was too soon. Silently cursing herself, she picked at the edges of the napkin sitting underneath her glass.

“So soon,” she sighed. “I know…I know…it’s soon. I’m really not desperate. Well, I mean…I’m not always this desperate.” She paused for a moment taking a breath. “Ok, so I guess I’m pretty desperate. I could use someone to talk to. I just got to town and I don’t know anyone except you and I know that sounds pathetic and stupid and…”

~

He stood there in complete disbelief both by the fact that she was capable of uttering so many words in such little time and by the fact that he was actually smiling.

He shook his head, “Kelly,” he said cautiously, unsure if she’d even allow him to speak.

~

Kelly put her hand to her forehead. Everything in her was screaming ‘Shut up’ yet she kept talking.

“Yeah,” she meekly whispered, afraid he was now making plans to have her involuntarily committed.

~

“You uh…You sound like you could use someone to talk to.” Ronan sat down on the edge of the bed. He actually felt lighter. From the moment he’d heard her voice on the phone, his anger began to dissipate. Maybe she wasn’t such a bad thing for him after all.

“Where are you staying?” he asked.

~

Kelly felt her heart beat faster.

“The uh…The Athletic Club,” she said, swallowing hard. “But look, you don’t have to do this because you feel sorry for me. I don’t want you to do this because you feel sorry for me….like when your Mom tells you that you have to play with that kid that smells bad because no one else will…”

~

Ronan couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped his lips. “You…You don’t smell bad,” he said with a smile. “I’ll pick you up at 7.”

He hung up the phone without giving her a chance to respond.

~

“Ronan,” Kelly said into the phone, realizing that he was gone. She glanced down at her watch. 5:30. She had an hour and a half to get to her room, take a shower, get dressed, and…. She nearly threw herself off the bar stool and she hurried off to the counter to retrieve her key. This was one date that she definitely did not want to be late for.

“Was it worse to be overdressed or underdressed?” she wondered as she padded around the room in the plush robe. Nervously, she ran her fingers through her wet hair.

“Way too much,” she said, tossing the royal blue strapless dress back onto the bed. Picking up a pair of jeans, she sighed. What if this wasn’t enough? She didn’t want him to think she wasn’t putting forth any effort. Her eyes fell on the emerald green halter dress.

“This could work,” she whispered, as she hurried off to the bathroom to change.

~

Sniffing the shirt, he began to unbutton his own and change. Laundry wasn’t exactly at the top of his to do list lately and he wasn’t sure which of the stacks on the other side of the bed designated clean and dirty. What he did know was that they felt like a presence was there…like he wasn’t as completely and totally alone as he truly was.

He sighed as he heard a knock at the door.

“What now?” he mumbled. “Mom,” he breathed seeing her face as he opened the door.

“Hi,” Nina said softly, taking note of his slight annoyance at her presence. “Sorry to just drop by like this…Is it a bad time?

Ronan nodded. “Actually. Yeah. It is. It’s a bad time.”

Her brows furrowed. “Sweetheart, you promised you’d take some time off…just a couple of weeks…just until we were sure the doctors had everything back under control.”

He shook his head. “It’s not work, Mom. It’s not. I’m actually….I’m meeting someone. I have a…” He thought for a minute…bad move to give her any information she could use later to force him to stay in town. “I’ve got an appointment.”

“Oh,” she smiled slightly. “With who?”

“Mom,” he said, his voice raised a bit.

“Right..Right.” She lowered her head. “I’m sorry. I know I said I wouldn’t interfere. I wouldn’t ask lots of questions. I’d try to stay out of the way and let you make your own decisions and live your own life. I just…I worry about you…that’s all.”

“You don’t need to worry about. I’ll be fine.” Ronan glanced down at his watch.

“I’ve really got to be going, Mom. I’m gonna be late.”

Nina nodded. “Right..Well, come by the house sometime. I’d love to see you.”

“Yeah…Yeah…I will,” he said, stepping out of the doorway and closing it behind him. He walked away without looking back.
~
She carefully made her way down the stairway, oblivious to the people around her. She scanned the room for his face…the face that had been in her mind since the moment she’d seen him earlier that day. She didn’t know why—it didn’t make sense. Sure, he was easy on the eyes, but she wasn’t that shallow. Was she?

Taking a seat in a small chair by the doorway, she sighed. This wasn’t what she’d intended to do. She hadn’t come to a new place looking for a new guy, but somehow this guy seemed different…this guy seemed special and suddenly this guy—the one she’d been thinking about all day was standing right in front of her.

~
“Hi,” she managed, her breath catching in her throat as she silently cursed herself for being so silly. She was a grown woman, not some love struck teenager. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”

“No..No..You didn’t,” he answered quickly. He didn’t tell her he’d been there for nearly twenty minutes. He also didn’t tell her he’d been watching her through the glass door for nearly ten. There was a fine line between romantic and creepy and he wasn’t sure what side of the line that kind of behavior fell on. He couldn’t recall ever feeling this way about another woman—ever being so totally enchanted that he could stop and stare. Maybe it was his line of work, he reasoned, trying desperately to explain away this strange attraction. Maybe it was only natural that he, being an agent, was predisposed to analyzing things and people.

“Ronan…Is this ok?” she said, tilting her head a little to try and make eye contact. She wasn’t fishing for compliments—honestly, but she wanted to make sure she wasn’t completely out of line with her wardrobe. He was wearing a button down shirt and jeans and while her dress was far from formal, it certainly wasn’t made out of denim either.

“Sorry,” he said, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. “It’s been a long day. I’m a little out of it.”

“It’s ok.” She stood for a moment waiting for him to respond. “You know, we can do this another time. It’s no big deal.”

“No,” he replied quickly. “I didn’t mean that. I want to go out. I just…I’m not really good at this. I don’t do this a lot.” He hesitated, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Date I mean.”

Kelly smiled. “Sure. I’m sure a guy like you has plenty of weekends free.”

And there it was—the smile. That had been the hook…it was as if the entire room lit up right along with her eyes and suddenly nothing in his life seemed so bad anymore.

“Come on,” he said, gently touching her arm. “Let’s go.”

He glanced over at her, the streetlights casting just enough light on her face to give him a glimpse of the sparkle in her eyes. Earlier in the evening, he’d considered his options. For a brief moment, he’d considered pulling the suit coat out of the back of the closet and taking her somewhere nice…maybe even the Athletic Club or the Colonnade Room, but the truth was—that wasn’t him…it wasn’t even close to being him and there was no point in faking it. For whatever reason—he didn’t even feel like he needed to try—not with her.

The smile that inched across his face as he pulled the car into a spot outside of Jimmy’s wasn’t missed.

“What are you smiling at?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he said, still unable to straighten his expression. “It’s just that…this place…it’s probably not exactly what you were envisioning.”

Kelly stepped out of the car, kicking a pebble of gravel out of the open toe of her shoe. She glanced up at the neon sign that blinked intermittently above her head.

“It’s…It’s a surprise.” She looked over at him and smiled. “But I like surprises.”

“Good.” He held out his hand, noticing her inability to navigate the gravel in her heels. “Let me help you out here.”

As she let him lead her into the door, she felt oddly comfortable with this virtual stranger. There was something about him that made her feel at ease. She wasn’t planning the next conversation starter or worrying about what she would say if he asked her about her past relationships. She wasn’t thinking about ways to make her life sound better or less complicated. She simply had to be present in the moment. Maybe this was the beginning of a fresh start for her after all.

She scanned the simple menu, as she tried desperately not to be distracted by the momentary brushing of his knees against hers. He hadn’t said a word since they’d sat down. Either he really didn’t do this a lot or he was very intense about his food choices—she wasn’t sure which.

“If you’re looking for the duck, they ran out…apparently it was a very popular special.” He glanced up at her with a sly smile, grateful when she laughed and smiled back at him.

“No, not at all,” she said, sighing in relief. “This place is great. In fact it reminds me a lot of some places back home.”

“Really?” It suddenly hit him just how little he knew about the beautiful but still quite mysterious woman sitting in front of him. “Where’s home?”

“Llanview, Pennsylvania…at least that’s where I’ve lived for the last fifteen years or so. I actually grew up in Paris.” She watched him for a reaction.

“As in France?” The last thing he needed was some Parisian debutante with lofty standards.

“Yeah,” she said with a smile, “but Llanview is really where I consider home. “ Looking back down at the menu, she took a breath. She mentally chided herself for allowing herself to go there again. This was a fresh start—she needed this. She had to move on…away from Joey, away from Llanview, away from all of it.

The sparkle, the same one that had drawn him to her when they’d met, seemed to disappear from her eyes in an instant. It was almost as if a dark cloud had settled over the table the moment she’d mentioned Llanview and her past. He knew all about memories and how they can pull you down.

“So, what’s it going to be?” he asked her, attempting to change the subject.

“What?” Looking up, she tried to pick up the conversation again. Ronan was handsome and charming and fascinating. She’d been drawn to him from the second she’d laid eyes on him. This was a chance for her to have a little fun—she deserved it, she reminded herself. After everything that had happened…after everything she’d lost…she deserved a chance to put her life back together.

“To eat? What are you going to eat?” Whatever she’d been thinking of had really thrown her, he realized.

“A burger and fries,” she smiled, sitting the menu down on the table, “As if there was ever really any doubt.”

And just like that it was back, the sparkle, the laugh, the eyes that could light up a room. He was amazed at how quickly she could change—how she could go from haunted to happy in seconds, but he was also more convinced than ever that this woman had a story—a story he desperately wanted to know.

“What can I get you?” the waitress asked, approaching the table with pen and paper in hand.

Kelly glanced over at Ronan, raising her eyebrows.

“Uh, I’ll have a burger—medium rare and uh…fries.” He glanced up at the waitress briefly as he she scribbled down the order.

She smiled at him, Kelly noticed. Admittedly, she was curious…why was a man that looked like he did still single? And why was he sitting in a bar on a Friday night with a virtual stranger? Her thoughts were interrupted by the waitress’ question.

“And for you?” she asked, looking over at Kelly, her expression considerably less friendly.

“Oh, uh…the same,” she responded quickly, glancing back up at Ronan.

“Anything to drink?”

“Sure,” Kelly said, “I’ll have a beer…whatever’s on tap…”

Ronan looked up at her. He knew better, but since when had he listened to anyone about anything. “Same here,” he responded, smiling at Kelly.

The waitress nodded and walked away.

“The burgers here are pretty impressive,” he grinned. “Maybe you should have stuck with a side salad.”

She gasped in mock offense. “I’ll have you know I can hold my own against any burger.”

“Oh, really,” he smiled. “You’re on.”

~

“Ok…Ok….” She laughed, holding up the napkin and waving it slightly. “I surrender. You win. You win.”

“Thank God,” he exhaled, leaning back in his chair. “I didn’t know how many more fries I could stuff in my mouth. I’ve got to give you credit…you gave it hell. Definite points for efforts.”

“Awww, thanks,” she said, smiling at him. It was amazing, she realized as she glanced quickly at her watch. They’d been sitting at this table for nearly two hours and yet she’d never once felt awkward or bored or anything other than completely and totally excited by the man in front of her….a man she knew virtually nothing about.

“So,” she started hesitantly, “Who are you exactly?”

“What?” Ronan took a swallow of beer, hoping like hell he’d misunderstood the question. Why was she asking him now? Everything was going so well. It was a strangers in the night type connection and it was great—why screw it up?

Kelly felt her palms begin to sweat a little. “It’s just that…well, we’ve been having such a great time tonight…but…I mean…I don’t know anything about you. I…I don’t even know what you do,” she said quietly, looking up at him, her eyes almost apologetic.

“I don’t even know your last name,” he said, smiling slyly in an attempt to break the tension that had suddenly settled over the table.

She couldn’t help but smile. He had that effect on her. “It’s Cramer,” she said, laughing a little. “Kelly Cramer. I was born in Paris, lived there til I was 16. After I got expelled from parochial school, I was sent to live with my aunt in Llanview, Pennsylvania. I’ve been married twice—to brothers. Divorced twice. I have one son, named Zane. He’s 13 now. He lives in London with my ex-husband, Kevin, who also happens to be his grandfather. And, oh yeah, my mother spent most of her life in an asylum. She died a couple of years ago and I have no idea who my father is.”
She looked up at Ronan, who sat there wide eyed and staring at her.

She knew she’d taken a risk in spilling everything so suddenly, but she was tired of keeping secrets and a fresh start was supposed to be a fresh start, so getting everything out in the open simply seemed the right thing to do. She glanced back at Ronan, who still hadn’t uttered a word and smiled, “So, now you know everything there is to know about me…your turn.”

He shook his head…. “Wait,” he muttered, still trying to process all the information. “Do I get to ask questions first?”

“Nope,” Kelly smiled, taking a long swallow of beer. “Not until you spill your guts. The question and answer session comes later. Go ahead, Mr. Malloy. You have a captive audience.”

Moments passed as the silence settled on the table. Kelly shifted uncomfortably in her seat. This was the longest stretch of silence that had passed on all evening. That, she realized, had been one of the most amazing parts about the night. There was an ease between them. Even though they knew nothing about each other, she felt as if she could talk to him, be herself with him, be totally honest with him—and she had been…totally honest. Maybe a little too honest.

“You know,” she said softly, grabbing her purse from the seat beside her, “It’s getting kind of late. Maybe I should just go.”

“No,” he said, reaching across the table and grabbing her hand. His eyes met hers for a moment.

“Sorry,” he said softly, “It’s just that…your life..your past…it’s easy for you to tell your story.” He looked down at the table. Where did he even begin? Leaving the force? Working for the FBI? Nearly getting killed trying to bring down a drug ring? Almost dying? Getting a liver transplant that was supposed to save his life only….He shook his head. There was no good place to start. His life was a disaster.

“I just…I don’t even know where to start. My past is….complicated. My whole life is actually a….” He stopped then, shocked to see her shoulders shaking with laughter.

“I’m sorry,” she said, holding up her hand in an effort to apologize. “I’m not laughing at you. It’s just…I mean…seriously?” She raised her eyebrows in confusion.

“You’re seriously afraid to tell me about YOUR past because YOU have baggage?” The giggles overwhelmed her again as she took a drink from her beer. Wrinkling her brow, she swallowed. Nothing quite like warm beer.

“Did uh…Did you catch the part where I said that I married brothers?”

Ronan nodded. “Yeah, I was going to follow up on that one, for the record.” He smiled at her as he watched her take another drink from the bottle. “You want another?” he asked her.

“That’d be great,” she smiled. “I think we could both use a little liquid courage tonight.”


She slowly twirled a lock of hair that rested on her shoulder. Tonight had been so simple. He was a stranger..a stranger that didn’t know anything about her, and what had she done? She’d gone and told him….all the crap….everything. Sighing deeply, she laid her hand on the table and groaned.

“You ok?” he asked her as he approached.

“Yeah,” she groaned, lifting her head slowly. “If I ask you something, will you tell me the truth?”

Ronan stared at her for a minute. “Ah, what the hell? Why not?”

“Did I scare you off?”

“What?” He took a seat, passing one of the two cold beers he held in his hands across the table towards her.

“Earlier…with all the crap about my past that I told you. I mean…did I scare you off? Do you think I’m some kind of freak now?” She ran her fingers through her hair, brushing it away from her face.

Now it was his turn to laugh. A sharp burst of air exited his lips before he began to speak.

“Trust me,” he started. “There’s nothing you can say to me that would scare me off.”

“Really?” She stared at him, her green eyes wide and earnest.

He reached across the table, touching her hand lightly. “Tell you what,” he said, softly, “New rule. Tonight…neither of us have a past. Tonight it’s just about the present.”

She smiled, the sparkle he loved returning to her green eyes. “I like that idea,” she whispered.


“You sure you’re gonna be ok getting up to your room?” he said, keeping his arm around her waist and he led her through the glass doors of the GAC.

“You’re not coming up to my room,” Kelly said, turning towards him a little. She ran her finger up the front of his shirt and smiled. “You can just forget it.”

“I just want to make sure you’re ok,” he smiled. “You had a few drinks in case you don’t remember.”

“I remember,” she giggled. “Well, I remember the first three…no four.”

“Right,” he smiled at her, still a little surprised at how much he’d enjoyed himself this evening. “Ok, well, at least let me walk to you up to your room. It’s my gentlemanly duty.”

“Far be it for me to present…I mean..prevent you from,” her voice trailed off a little as she yawned, “your gentlemanly duties.”

“Alright, let’s get you to your room.” Ronan reached into her purse and pulled out the room key as he walked her into the elevator.

Of course he’d been with women before, but this was different. Never before had he felt so intensely connected to someone so quickly.

As the elevator began to make its slow progress from the lobby, he felt her head lay on his shoulder. Under most circumstances, the close contact would have unnerved him. Affection, especially affection from someone he was in a relationship with was something he avoided at all costs. Affection made things complicated. It led to feelings and commitment and love. He’d promised himself that he’d never love anyone again…not after what happened. But tonight, as he glanced down at her face, he carefully reached up and stroked her hair. Tonight, he reminded himself, he had no past.


He smiled as he stood outside the glass door breathing in the night air. He felt more alive than he had in months, and he knew the reason for his change was probably asleep upstairs by now. The thought of her made him smile and a small laugh escaped his lips when he recalled their brief conversation as he helped her into her room.

“You’re sure you’re gonna be ok?” He watched her for a moment as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’ll be fine. Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time I’ve had a little bit too much to drink.” She looked up at him and flashed him a smile. “But thank you for being so concerned. It shows character.”

“I’m so looking for a way to do that,” he said, approaching her slowly. “I had a really nice time tonight. Honest.” Slowly he reached up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear. His face lingered closer to hers for a moment.

She pulled back sharply, startling him slightly.

“There’s no kissing on the first date,” she smiled. “What kind of girl do you think I am?”

He’d left the room on that note, after she’d assured him again that she’d be fine. Hearing the familiar ring of his phone, he grabbed it quickly.

“If you’ve changed your mind, I won’t think any less of you,” he slyly muttered, his lips already curving into a smile.

“Pretty girl,“ a low voice said.

His stomach dropped. That voice…it had been so long, yet he hadn’t forgotten. He could never, ever forget.

“You,” he managed, his heart beating so hard that it echoed into his ears.

“Score one for you,” the voice responded. “I’m touched. You haven’t forgotten me…and I certainly haven’t forgotten you. I’m glad to see you’ve decided to move on. Living in the past isn’t healthy. You’ve done well for yourself, Malloy. Quite a looker you’ve got there.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Walker” Ronan spat, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He moved towards the wall of the building, making sure to stay out of sight, but also trying to find some shelter from what could be a potential set up. Given his history, this guy could be planning to do anything.

“Oh, I think I do,” Walker replied, his voice still low and raspy, yet dripping with satisfaction. “Your pretty little girlfriend had herself a pretty good time tonight and from the looks of it, you did too.”

Ronan couldn’t speak. All he could do was force air into and out of his lungs.

“It’s a shame you’ve managed to snag one with some morals. It would have made things considerably easier if you’d just stayed up there with her tonight. Two birds with one stone so to speak.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Walker?” In his business, he was no stranger to threats, but unfortunately this man wasn’t delivering idle threats—he knew that from personal experience.

A heavy sigh echoed from the receiver. “Try and keep up, Malloy. I’m talking about your little girlfriend. You know…the one in 604…Let’s just say, I hope she likes surprises.”

He didn’t need to hear anything else. Closing the cell phone, he thrust it back into his pocket and ran back through the glass doors, punching the buttons on the elevator furiously. Spying a door marked stairs, he abandoned the elevator and began a hurried descent to the sixth floor.

Approaching her door, he knocked furiously.

“Kelly,” he yelled. “Kelly. Come on. Open the door. Please.”

Kelly lay on the bed. She’d managed to get her dress half off before the room began to spin again and one of her shoes was stubbornly glued to her foot. And now there was this banging…this incessant banging. She stood slowly, grabbing the desk edge in an attempt to steady herself.

“Hang on,” she yelled, slowly making her way to the door. “Stop that…it’s so…loud.”

“Ronan?” she said in confusion as she opened the door to see him standing there. “What are you doing here? You just left…didn’t you?”

Had she been dreaming? She had gone out with him tonight…hadn’t she?

“You need to come with me,” he said, grabbing her wrist insistently and pulling her out the doorway.

“What?” She shook her head in an effort to shake the fuzzy confusion that seemed to be taking over her brain. “I’m not going with you. This is the first date. I don’t even kiss on the first date. It’s a rule.”

“I’m not talking about dating or rules, Kelly,” Ronan insisted. “Please. Come with me. I need you to come with me. I’ll explain everything. I promise, but for now, just trust me. Please.” He made eye contact with her for a moment.

“Can you do that? Can you trust me?” He looked at her, hoping his words were able to break through her drunken haze.

“I do trust you,” she said, as she realized that she truly did. “Let me get my shoe,” she said, turning to walk back into the room.

“Forget the shoe,” he said, pulling her out the door.

“Would you just get in here?” Ronan pushed her towards the door again, looking over his shoulder, and breathing a sigh of relief as they entered Crimson Lights. The best place to be was in a public place.

“I only have one shoe,” Kelly muttered, still pretty tipsy. “I’m sure this place has rules for that kind of stuff.”

“You’ll be fine…I promise.” He led her to a table in the far corner of the room. “I’ll get you a cup of coffee. Just stay here.” As he walked away from the table, he kept a steady eye on her as inconspicuously as possible. He didn’t want her asking too many questions, though he feared that ship had already sailed.
“Here you go.” He placed the steaming cup in front of her and braced himself for the inevitable barrage of questions.

She placed the cup to her lips, taking a sip and wincing as the steaming liquid touched her tongue. Putting the cup on the table, she looked across at him and sighed.

“What’s with the caveman routine?”

“The caveman routine?” he asked incredulous. If she only knew what was really going on…how much danger she was truly in, she wouldn’t be making jokes. But she didn’t know, he reminded himself, and if he had anything to say about it—she’d never have to know.

“Yeah, I mean…I thought tonight was going pretty well and then you show up at my hotel room and drag me out basically kicking and screaming to some coffee shop in the middle of the night. I know I said I like surprises, but this borders on the bizarre.”

Ronan shook his head. “I know,” he sighed. “I wish I could explain everything to you, but I can’t. Just believe me when I say that I need you to trust me. I can’t tell you exactly why you’re here with me right now, but I can tell you that this is the only place you can be…the only safe place.”

She sat still, her coffee cup hovering halfway between the table and her lips.

“Ok…now you’re really starting to freak me out. What are you talking about? What do you mean this is the only safe place I can be?” She could feel her throat begin to tighten and her cheeks felt hot.

He could tell she was upset and he couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know him—she didn’t know anything about her and he was asking her to trust him on blind faith. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. That’s all.”

“Safe from what,” she insisted. “What do I need you to keep me safe from? You don’t even know me….You don’t know anything about me…and I don’t know anything about you.”

“That’s the point,” he sighed. “You don’t know anything about me. You have no idea where I’ve been, the things I’ve done, the people I’ve been involved with…..You have no idea what kind of a person I am.”
Part 3

“Oh,” she said, slinging her head back with a laugh, nearly slinging herself out of the chair in the process.

“Careful,” Ronan hissed, as he lunged forward.

“I’m fine,” she snipped. “I get it. This is some kind of pick up thing you do,” she smiled, waving her finger in air as spoke.

“A pick up thing?” He couldn’t help but smile. She was drunk off her ass, but she was adorable.

“Uh huh,” she continued. “Kind of like that guy…what’s his name?” She closed her eyes, snapping her fingers in the air. Groaning she looked at Ronan, “Oh,come on….you know the guy? He’s got all the cool stuff, but nobody knows he is who he is and he walks around like he’s a normal guy, but he’s not cause he’s cool, but he’s sexy. He’s really sexy and that’s how he gets all the women because he’s so…” She stopped herself watching Ronan as his smile got wider and wider….

“Never mind,” she sighed, leaning back in her chair. “You could at least tell me why you brought me here.”

“I told you,” he hissed, leaning in closer to her. “I’m making sure you’re safe.”

“From what?” she whined, stamping her feet a little under the table.

“Nothing you need to worry about. I’ve got it all under control. As long as you’re with me, he’s not going to come near you.”

“You said he,” she said, raising her hand in the air in a declaration of small victory.

“He or She,” Ronan snarled, mentally chastising himself for being so careless. She was pretty perceptive to be so drunk.
“Look,” Kelly leaned in towards him, “If my life is on the line here, the least you can do is tell me who I’m running from.”

“Your life is not on the line,” he groaned.

“James Bond!” she shrieked.

“What?” Ronan asked, really confused.

“That’s the guy…that’s what you’re doing here. This man of mystery thing and it’s not going to work. See I prefer a man who puts his cards on the table. Someone who…”

A shot, or at least it sounded like a shot. She was on the floor and he was on top of her and then her face was inches from his as her wide eyes blinked up at him.

“You were saying?” she asked coyly.

“Sorry,” he said, looking at the floor, at the table, at the door, at anything really….anything to keep from looking into those eyes. “I thought it was…”

“It was a car backfiring,” Kelly said, standing up and brushing herself off. “This floor is disgusting. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking…” he began, his voice raised, his eyes blaring. He took a breath. “I was thinking that someone was shooting and that I wanted to make sure no one put any more holes in you. You’ve already got a big one right there,” he snarled as he gestured to her mouth.

“I guess you expect me to thank you or something.” She stared at him ever aware of how close she truly was standing, so close that she’d swear she could feel the warmth from his skin on hers.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Ronan grumbled, “but a little gratitude would be…”
She stopped him then, surprising even herself, as she pressed her lips on his. Pulling back slightly, she started to speak—to apologize, for having too much to drink, for being too forward, and for so many other things. Before she could speak, their eyes met. Two people, both lonely, both hurt, neither with anything to lose. His lips fell on hers again.

Part 4

“Easy,” Ronan whispered, reaching out to steady her as their lips were parted when her body swayed.

“Sorry,” she breathed, her face flushed. Bringing her palm to her forehead, she struggled to find what was left of her composure. “I….ummm”

“You’ve had too much to drink,” he smiled, still keeping his arms wrapped around her, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin through the thin fabric of her dress.

“It’s not just the drinks,” she whispered, smiling before slowly walking back to the table.

Ronan stood there for a moment, just thinking. People he cared about got hurt. Already—she was already in danger and he didn’t even….or did he? Watching her now, through the corner of his eye, as she ran her fingers through her hair, he realized just how much danger she was already in.
~
“I still don’t understand this,” Kelly groaned, as she plodded up the steps. “Why can’t we go back to the Athletic Club? If you’re so hell bent on protecting me from the unnamed monster, why can’t you do it there?”

“Because, this is my place,” Ronan replied gruffly, “And tonight we’re playing by my rules.” He opened the door and threw his jacket across the straight back chair. “And just because I’m a gentleman,” he smiled at her, “You can have the bed.”

~

“There’s a bed under there?” Kelly nagged, picking up one of many shirts that adorned the bed.
“As a matter of fact, there is,” he retorted. “You take the bed. I’ll take the chair and I’ll keep an eye on you. You’ll be safe here.” He looked around the room, checking to make sure the deadbolt on the door was engaged. Even with his training, he couldn’t afford any stupid mistakes.

“Ronan,” Kelly began.

“Just go to sleep,” he snapped. “I’m tired of all the questions.”

Turning away, he jerked the chair towards the window and sat down.

Kelly felt tears sting at her eyes. She didn’t understand why his words hurt so much. After all, she hardly knew this man and yet his rejection stung as much as any other ever had. Less than an hour ago, standing in the coffee shop, she’d felt so safe in his arms. Now, she thought, she didn’t even know if he truly wanted her here.

Silently she wiped a stray tear from her cheek and closed her eyes. She hoped sleep would come quickly tonight.
~
He watched the slow rise and fall of the emerald fabric. The feeling of guilt hadn’t subsided. His words had been harsh and he saw that they affected her, but he’d done what he felt he had to do. He had to push her away. It was the only way she’d be safe. The only way she’d stay safe. People he loved were easy targets and he knew it.

Standing up, he crossed the room and looked down on her. Her cheek still bore the tearstains. He frowned. Even as a virtual stranger, he felt connected to her—something he hadn’t felt with someone in a long time. Something he hadn’t planned to ever allow himself to feel again….but something that had happened with her despite his best efforts.

Carefully he picked up the quilt from the bottom of the bed and draped it over her. He smiled as she snuggled in underneath the welcome warmth.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Part 5

He eyes snapped open, yet another sign of a body that, even when asleep, was truly on full alert. The noise—where was it coming from? He stood, looking around the room, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness that surrounded him. Moving slowly he approached the dresser, opening the top drawer as quietly as possible, feeling inside for the cool metal of the handgun that lay inside.

This time the sound was closer and far easier to identify as he caught Kelly’s leg jerk out of the corner of his eye. He felt his body relax as he slowly closed the drawer and stepped closer to the bed, catching his own foot on the lone dress shoe by the bed.

“Dammit,” he mumbled as Kelly awoke with a start.

“Ronan,” Kelly gasped, still breathing heavily as she sat up, looking around the room.

“Yeah…Yeah…sorry. I…I thought I heard something, but if was just you. I think you were just having a dream or something and then I tripped on…” He lifted the shoe above the end of the bed for further explanation. “This…”

“You ok?” she asked, forcing a meek smile.

“It looks like I should be asking you that,” he responded quietly, slowly making his way towards the vacant side of the bed. He hesitated for a moment, before taking a seat beside her and then reaching up to flip on the overhead lamp.

“Oh,” Kelly scoffed, turning her head to avoid his gaze. His eyes seemed to look right through her. It was as if he could see directly into her innermost thoughts. “I’m fine,” she said quickly.

“Jesus,” he muttered under his breath, “This is your version of fine?”

Kelly managed a burst of nervous laughter. “It was just a dream.”

He was silent for a moment. Communication wasn’t his strong suit and he certainly wasn’t one to share his feelings, but with her it was different. He knew virtually nothing about her, but he wanted to know everything. He’d spent almost no time with her and every second he was away from her, he thought about when he could see her again. In the span of a day, she’d become his priority.

Looking over at her tonight as she sat there, he could see her tremble. She pulled the quilt up over her lap as she sat there, her bare shoulders shivering. Reaching towards the foot of the bed, he grabbed a shirt.

“Here,” he smiled, handing her a long sleeved, denim button down. “This is one of my favorites…and I promise it’s clean.” Carefully, he draped it around her shoulders, looking away as she smiled at him, clearly surprised by his gentle gesture.

“Thanks,” she whispered, pulling the shirt more tightly around her body.

“Do uh…do you…” Ronan looked down at his hands. This was awkward. Too awkward. Far too awkward that anything should be…especially something that wasn’t necessary.

“What?” she asked gently, extending her hand, and touching his arm.

“Nothing...just forget it. I’ll just turn off this lamp so you can get some sleep.”

“Wait,” She reached for his arm again. “What were you gonna say?”

Ronan sighed. “Do you want to tell me about it?” He cleared his throat, readjusting on the bed, nervously. “You know, the dream.”

“Oh, that…” Kelly sighed. The dream—the same dream. “It’s silly really.”

“So, if it’s so silly, tell me,” he replied, his response tinged with curiosity and concern.

She sighed. She had nothing to lose. “I’m in this room,” she admitted.

“Where?” he asked, not fully understanding why being in a room was so upsetting.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Well,” Ronan continued, “Who’s there with you.”

“No one,” Kelly continued, “I’m alone. There’s no one there….anywhere.” She felt her throat begin to tighten as her eyes begin to water.

“So you’re alone there,” Ronan responded, his eyes softening as he watched Kelly’s demeanor begin to crumble.

She nodded, unsure if she trusted her voice enough to speak again.

“Have you had this dream before?” he asked her, already sure of the answer.

“All the time, “she whispered. “I have it all the time.” She reached up quickly, feeling a tear begin to escape her eye. Smiling broadly, she giggled. “See,” she teased, “I told you it was silly.”

“Kelly,” he said softly, touching her arm lightly. “You’re not alone.”

Kelly blinked hard, absorbing the magnitude of his simple words. Her mind searched for words—a proper response—something…anything, but nothing was required.

Ronan reached up, flipping off the lamp. Then, reaching around her, he pulled her closer to him. Carefully, he spread the quilt across them, lying back as she settled in against his chest. Tonight nothing more needed to be said.

Part 6

Thinking back, he couldn’t remember a time when he’d woke up with someone in his arms. Sure he’d had his share of one night stands. He’d woke up mornings with women on the other side of him….some of them he remembered…others were simply faces. While he’d shared a bed with many women, the sensation of having someone next to while you slept was something completely unfamiliar to him—Unfamiliar, unexpected, yet oddly comforting.

As the morning light filtered in through the thin curtains, Kelly stirred. Her eyelids fluttered open, taking quick note of her surroundings.

“Ronan,” she said, sitting up quickly, unsure of if she was in his arms by invitation or as a result of pure pity.

“What?” he asked, startled himself by her reaction. “What’s wrong?”

She looked at him, blinking slowly, looking down at the shirt draped around her body. “Did we?” Gingerly she pulled the collar apart, exhaling deeply when she saw the dress underneath.

“It would have been that bad?” he teased.

“No,” she counted quickly. “I’m sure it would have been really….” She stopped, covering her mouth with her hand. “I mean….I just meant….I’m glad we didn’t do anything like that because I didn’t remember if we did….and…”

“Trust me,” he smiled, reaching up and touching her hair with a naughty grin, “You’d remember.”

“You know, you’re terrible,” she smiled, pulling the shirt off and slapping him with it playfully. “Really terrible.

She reached up, grabbing for the blinds, struggling to reach the handle to let in the sunlight. Buckling under the pressure, he knee gave way and she collapsed, raising her face to find her lips just above his.
“You know, you can’t keep doing this,” he whispered. “I can only take so much.”

She turned, rolling off of him quickly. “Sorry,” she blushed, her face warm with a mix of embarrassment and desire.

“Don’t be.” He looked at her intently, bringing his hand to her face as he gently brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Ronan,” she quietly protested. She could hear her own resolve weakening. She knew he could hear it…and see it. “We shouldn’t…” She stopped, unable to speak as she felt his fingers dancing along the straps of her dress.

“Who’s waiting for you?” he asked, moving his face closer to his.

“No one,” she replied, sadly, but unable to resist as small smile as he flashed a grin her way. “But remember,” she leaned back a bit, “I don’t kiss on the first date.”

“I took you home…picked you up again,” he smiled, kissing her cheek softly. “It’s not the first date anymore.” He waited a moment, watching her reaction.

“Point taken,” she smiled, relaxing into his arms as she allowed his lips to begin a trail down her neck.

Part 7
She stayed perfectly still, her head resting on his shoulder, her body curled against his. As she stared at his face, it was hard to believe that only days ago he’d been a stranger to her and, in many ways, he still ways. Yet here she was, in his arms…in his bed.

It was nothing like she’d expected. The chemistry between them had been immediate and undeniable. Sleeping together had almost been inevitable. Ronan had struck her as a man that was skilled and competent in the bedroom, but she’d been surprised at how tender he’d been. Even afterwards, when she’d fully expected him to turn over, leaving her to her own thoughts, he’d pulled her close to him, and pressed his lips against her temple.

Such a simple gesture, and yet so unexpected. Ronan was clearly a man full of surprises.

The loud rapping on the door startled him and he sat up quickly, looking over at her. “Stay here,” he hissed, quickly sliding on his jeans and making his way to the door.

Kelly watched as he reached for his gun on the dresser. “Who is it?” he said, his voice terse.

“It’s Mom,” Nina called back.

She saw his shoulders relax as he placed the gun into the top drawer. He waved his hand back at her, a clear indication that she wasn’t supposed to be seen. Barely opening the door, he slipped outside.

“Hi,” he said, closing the door behind him.

Nina stilled, watching her son. “Is everything ok?” she asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” It was his pat answer for every situation. No matter what the truth was, saying it was fine meant less explanations, less complications, less mess. It was always better that way.

“Why don’t I believe you?” she asked, reaching up and touching his face gently. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

Ronan was quiet for a moment, as his mind shot back to the night before. It was something in her eyes…something in her eyes when he held her. She felt safe with him. It had been a long time since he’d been able to do something good for someone…when he felt like he was doing something…anything…but being a burden and causing trouble.

“I got plenty of sleep, Mom.”

Nina sighed. “Why don’t I come in and make some coffee? We can talk.”

He shook his head. “I haven’t been to the store lately. I don’t have any.”

“We’ll go get some then. Crimson Lights maybe? Come on, honey. I want to spend some time with you. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

Forcing a smile, he sighed, “No it wouldn’t. But not today…another day, I promise. Right now though, I’ve really got to go. I’ve got some things to take care of.” He stepped towards the door…a clear indication that the conversation was over.

“Ronan,” Nina began.

“Another day,” he repeated, “Promise.”

She shook her head, defeated again. “I’m gonna hold you to that,” she smiled, leaning in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning and heading down the hallway.

Ronan watched her go and sighed before opening the door again. He was relieved to see Kelly still in bed. Part of him had been afraid he’d find her dressed and ready to bolt. That’s what usually happened the morning after.

“What was that about?” she asked, her green eyes shimmering.

“My mom,” he said quietly. “Just doing her Mom thing, I guess.”

There was an awkward silence that settled over the room. Kelly watched him for a moment, unsure of what the next appropriate move was. She didn’t know if she should mention last night. It certainly wasn’t something she’d planned, and she could tell by the way it happened, it certainly wasn’t in his plans either. Ronan finally broke the silence.

“If you want we could uh…” He looked at her then. His lips spread into a smile as her eyes twinkled mischievously.

“What?” she giggled.

“I wasn’t going to suggest that,” Ronan teased, smiling himself. That was one of the things he loved most about spending time with her. She actually made him smile….and he didn’t have to fake it. Smiles with her came naturally. “I was going to say that we could go get some breakfast.”

Kelly studied his face for a moment. Was he being polite? Was that the right thing to do? “Ronan,” she said quietly, realizing that she was treading in treacherous waters. “You don’t have to do that. It’s not like you owe me anything.”

“I know,” he said, clearly becoming uncomfortable. His eyes darted around the room. He wasn’t used to this…to talking..to sharing his feelings. “I just…I kind of…I…I like spending time with you,” he finally managed, feeling his cheeks flush with the words.

She was stunned into silence. As he stood before her, he has the slightest hint of a little boy, having just asked a girl if she liked him. She smiled at that. “I like spending time with you too,” she said softly. “Just one question,” she asked wrapping the sheet around her and crawling over the bed towards him.

“What?” he asked.

“Can we have breakfast in bed?”

Part 8

“This is a first,” she giggled, carefully twisting the top half off the Oreo cookie.

“What is?” he asked, unsure if she was referring to his choice of morning cuisine, or the fact that she was spending her morning in bed with a man she barely knew.

“Oreo cookies in bed,” she smiled.

“I guess you’re more of a poached egg and toast kind of girl?” he teased, a slight smile on his face, but only slightly kidding. The fact that Kelly was clearly privileged certainly hadn’t escaped him. He was out of his league and he knew it, but there was something about her…something else…something he identified with. That’s what drew him to her.

Kelly stopped for a moment, catching the look in his eye. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said softly. “It’s good…it’s simple. I like it.”

He smiled. It was that too…her ability to sense his thoughts..his mood...and that she cared enough to do something about it. Looking back up at her, he studied her face. She seemed sad suddenly, as if she was lost in her thoughts. He touched her arm. “Hey,” he said softly. “Where’d you go?”

She looked up, surprised by his words. “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking….about what you said.”

“The egg thing? I was just joking. I mean, you just seem like the type that probably gets that a lot. I just figured any guy that you were with probably had the money to….” He stopped as he realized that she wasn’t smiling anymore. Her eyes welled up with tears.

She forced a smile, reaching up and wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She looked away, desperate to stop the onslaught of tears, but helpless to do so.

Shit. He was lost…totally lost. She was upset—that much was obvious, and he hated to see her that way, but he didn’t know what to do…he didn’t know how to help her.

“I uh…I don’t know what to do here,” he said honestly. Awkwardly, he touched her shoulder. “I’m sorry that you’re hurting. Life can really, really suck sometimes.”

Kelly turned, looking at him. God it felt good to hear someone say that. “Yeah,” she whispered, managing a small smile in return for his candor. “Yeah, it does.”

It wasn’t so much what he said—his words were few, but it was more in the way he said it…in the way he looked at her, the way he touched her. There was a sincerity there…an honesty that she could almost reach out and touch. He was someone that had lived an imperfect existence. She could see the pain in his eyes, the disappointments, the loss, the loneliness, the fear….She could see it all and she recognized it.

“You’re right you know,” she said softly.

Ronan raised his eyebrows in surprise. “About what exactly?”

“Before…back in Llanview…if you could buy it, I had it.” Pausing for a moment, she allowed the memories to creep back into her consciousness. She shook her hand, banishing them once again from her thoughts. “But it’s true what they say, money can’t buy you happiness.”

He watched her intently. “So what does?” he asked as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “What makes you happy?”

She smiled at him. “Eating Oreos in bed,” she giggled, scooting in closer to him.

“You’re just saying that,” he countered, smiling in spite of himself. “Seriously, what makes you happy?”

“I don’t know yet,” she whispered. “I’m still looking. Sometimes you find happiness in the most unexpected places.” Whatever the reason, she felt a connection with him…a connection that was unlike one she’d ever felt before.

Joey had loved her and she’d loved him, but this was different. Joey’s life had been one of unconditional love and support. His family had rallied around him through every up and down. No matter what she did, she never felt as if she was his equal. She always needed him in a way he didn’t need her. With Ronan, there was emptiness…a need…a yearning that she identified with. It was the same yearning she herself felt. She saw in him the need to belong, the need to be needed, the need to be loved.

Maybe this time, she’d found her place.